Every Port in the Storm
by unwritten010778
Summary: Logan has deployed to active duty and Veronica is back in Neptune, left to deal with her father's accident, a corrupt Sheriff, and the fallout of yet another heartbroken lover. Just another sunny day in Neptune, California.
1. Who Says You Can't Go Home

_**Welcome home, Veronica. You've been sorely missed. It's funny. No one is lining up outside the office door to throw my welcome home party. I'm shocked. Nine years gone and you'd think someone would have rolled out the red carpet. I wasn't expecting a band, or anything, but confetti...at least confetti.**_

"What the hell, Veronica?"

"And a nice day to you, too, sir," Veronica answered with a sarcastic smile.

"Come on, V, you know I'm happy as hell to see you there, but I know what this means. And none of it's good."

"Wallace...don't start. If I get one more lecture about poor life choices, I just might get the itch to try this new taser in dad's drawer."

"Seriously, I don't get it. I knew Logan had this hold on you, but..."

"It's not just about Logan," Veronica protested.

"It's **always** about Logan. The two of you are more combustible than a can of gasoline over a hot flame. And Piz. Do you care at all how much you've hurt him?"

"Of course I do, Wallace. Don't you think it kills me to know he doesn't deserve this. He never deserved any of this. I never should have gotten involved with him. I guess part of me knew...part of me always knew..."

"So this is permanent? You're not going back to New York?"

"I can't leave my dad like this, Wallace. Even if Logan wasn't in the picture, my dad is still getting over the attack. I have to pitch in and help. He's in no shape to run the office, much less go chasing bounty jumpers."

"Ok, so you're dad gets better and back to 100%. What then?"

"I don't know what then, Wallace. It's not like I've mapped out a 5-year plan."

"See...therein lies the rub with you, V."

"Why can't you just be happy that I'm back? Aren't you happy I'm back?" Veronica asked, worried that one of the only friends she had left in the world was turning on her.

"Of course I'm happy you're back, V," Wallace reassured her. He walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulder. "I can't wait for you to see me...I mean my team...in action. It's just I'm worried about you. I'm worried about Piz."

Veronica sighed.

"I know, Wallace. I hate what I did to him. I know how bad I hurt him. I didn't mean to, Wallace. I never meant..."

"Ah, you never do, V. But shit happens around you, girl. It always has."

Veronica hung her head in shame.

"Wallace...I..."

"Look, Veronica," Wallace began, touching Veronica's shoulders, "I'm sorry. I know you feel bad about this. And I know you didn't mean for it to happen. It's Logan...The two of you..."

Wallace shook his head and dropped his hands to his side.

"Piz should have know, V. We all tried to tell him. He never had a shot."

"Don't say that, Wallace."

"It's true, V. Admit it. It's always been Logan. Always."

Veronica sighed again and looked up at the sky searching for an answer she already knew. She nodded.

"Yeah, Wallace. I think it has."

...

"Hey, there, Bond! It brings back old memories seeing you behind that desk."

"Hey, Mac. Did Wallace send you in for backup?" Veronica sighed.

"Wallace?" Mac asked, confused. "Oh...I see you've had a lecture from dad?"

"Yeah," Veronica exhaled. "I suppose I deserved it. I've made a bit of mess of all this."

Mac let out a snarky laugh and sat on the desk, facing Veronica.

"Veronica Mars making a mess? Well, that would be new and different," Mac smirked.

"Right?" Veronica laughed.

"You know that Wallace is happy as hell your back, right? Don't let him fool you. Of course, for Piz's sake, he has to give you the usual speech. I mean, it's Wallace. But he's glad you're here."

"Did he give you hell for taking a job at Kane software?"

Mac didn't answer, she just grinned.

"So why do I get all the grief?"

"Because that's just the way it is," Mac answered.

"Yay, me," Veronica smirked.

"So, tell me what havoc you are reeking now and who upon?"

"I've got to find a way to figure out what's going on with Lamb junior and how my dad got in the middle of it all. There's a huge cover-up going on here, Mac."

"Haven't you gotten yourself in the middle of enough murders here lately? How many times can you tempt fate, V?"

"Mac someone tried to kill my dad. That earned them an all-expense paid trip to kick-ass with me giving them the guided tour. I can't let this go," Veronica said, slamming her hand on the desk.

"Ok, ok. I get it, ," Mac said, motioning with her hands for Veronica to calm down. She stood up and faced her friend.

"What can I do to help?"

...

"Hey, beautiful," came the voice on the other end of the line.

Veronica collapsed onto the sofa.

"I don't think I've ever heard anything as wonderful as the sound of your voice right now," she sighed glad for her weekly call from Logan. He only called her once a week because the lines to use the sat phone were always long and most of the guys respected those with family issues or small children. Logan, having neither, limited his calls to Veronica to once a week. He emailed every day and sent a letter once every other week. It was the letters Veronica cherished the most because she knew it was so unlike Logan. It was her proof that he was different-that **they** were different.

"Long day?"

"Yeah, kind of." Veronica didn't want to drag up the details of her argument with Wallace or the absolute nowhere she had gotten with her dad's case and entire corruption scandal in general today.

"How's your dad?" Logan asked.

"Better. I just left the rehab facility. They say he might come home by the end of next week."

"That's great."

"It is. He is still pretty weak and is struggling to walk all by himself - he'll have to have a walker or cane or something for a while, but he's getting there. His jokes are back to normal."

"Corny and frequent?" Logan laughed.

"Yep," Veronica smiled.

"How are you?"

Veronica groaned. Having the time alone to process all that had happened in her life in the last few months was more than a bit overwhelming.

"Tired," was how she summed it all up to Logan. He was on a boat in the middle of who-freaking-knows-where-Pacific-ocean, so she wanted to keep it to synopsis-level if at all possible.

Logan smirked and shook his head.

"Veronica..."

"Logan..." she began before she got her second lecture for the day, "I have to go to New York this weekend."

She braced for his reaction. She thought about not even mentioning it. But that was the old Veronica. Truth mattered most of all now.

"The Bar?"

"Yeah, and..."

"Piz?" Logan finished.

"I have to pack up my stuff. I have to...I mean, it's not like I..."

"Veronica you don't have anything to explain to me. Hell, I feel pretty lousy myself. It's not like either of us planned this."

"Logan, what did you expect when you called me?"

"I...not..."

"No, Logan, I didn't mean that bad. It's just..." Veronica sighed. "I've been doing a lot of thinking here all alone. And, it's sort of been brought to my attention-that every decision I've made from the time I was sixteen has in some way revolved around Logan Echolls. I mean, I denied that for a long time, but when it's just you, the ramen, the walls, and the mice - you have some pretty interesting introspective discussions with yourself."

Logan remained silent.

"It's true, Logan. It's always been about you. Nine years ago I thought it was about me. I thought I was moving on with my life, but that's not what that was. I was running. I was running away from you. I was running because I was afraid that if I stayed and faced up to the facts of my life that I've have to admit to myself and everyone else in the world who I really am. Strip away the Stanford education, the fancy pants suit, the law degree - at the end of the day I'm just a screwed up girl from a small California town who has always been in love with Logan Echolls."

Logan was speechless. He swallowed hard and tried to find the words.

"Veronica, you are so much more..."

"I know, Logan, but it's only that that matters really. And admitting it to myself is the first step to being anyone else."

"Well, shit, Veronica. I don't have a reply for that."

"You don't have to."

"I kind of think I do," Logan said, feeling as if everything in his world just turned upside down.

"I'm just trying to being honest, Logan. We haven't always done that very well."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't really prepared for that much honesty halfway out in the Pacific," Logan laughed.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Logan. I was really trying to avoid dumping all this on you now..." Veronica apologized.

"Hey-don't apologize. This is kind of nice. This kind of makes me feel-normal. I feel like my buddy Joe. He's got a wife and two kids and he spends half his time on the phone refereeing the two of them."

Veronica laughed.

"It feels..." Logan searched for the right word. "I don't know-good. It feels like, all the way out here in the middle of the ocean, that we're not that far apart, after all."

Veronica smiled.

"So-the bar?" Logan asked, changing the subject. "You're going through with it?"

"Might as well. I mean, I've already paid for it. I graduated law school. It sort of seems like a logical next step," Veronica joked, her smart-ass wit indicating their little moment of deep emotion had passed for now.

"And then what?" Logan asked.

"I don't know, Logan. Just one day at a time, remember?"

"Ok. Just one day at a time." He smiled, hoping Veronica would sense it on the other end of the line. "Say hi to Piz for me?"

"Umm..."

"Too soon?"

"A bit," she smiled.

"I miss you, Veronica," he countered.

She swallowed hard. She knew what he really meant. He was still afraid to say it.

She was, too.

"I miss you, too, Logan," she said softly.


	2. New York, New York

**_A/N: Okay, so there was little "irritation" with Wallace over his rant to Veronica. Had I known, I would have prepared you. It's going to be okay. You just had to be patient ;)_**

* * *

"Oh, no you don't. I'm not ready for round two," Veronica insisted, holding her right hand in front of her as Wallace walked in the door.

He held his hands up in surrender.

"I came to apologize. Don't pull out the taser."

"Well, in that case, my friend..." Veronica said, kicking a chair over to him, "pull up a seat, kid."

"I was a jerk the other day. I'm sorry."

Veronica frowned and looked around behind Wallace.

"What are you doing, V?"

"Looking for your tail. It's not between your legs, so I'm pretty much at a loss."

Wallace shook his head and motioned with his hands the universal sign for "come on".

"Let's go, Super Spy. Give me all you got."

"No, no. I'm gonna take the high road here."

"Wha...ok, who are you and what have you done with my friend Veronica Mars?"

"Seriously. I probably deserved about 64% of your little rant, so I'm gonna just let you go ahead and say whatever it is you came to say. As long as it's a net deduction of somewhere in the ballpark of 40% of your whole 'wrath of Wallace' speech then I'm just gonna remain silent."

Veronica hopped up on the desk and made the zipping motion on her lips.

"Well, in my defense...your dad was in the hospital. Someone had to step up," Wallace joked, shrugging.

"He shoots...he scores. From **way** downtown. That's a three-pointer. Good start, Fennel."

"I was sort of misdirecting my anger," Wallace said, taking on a more serious tone.

Veronica leaned over on her knees.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing important, anyway."

Veronica reached her hand to touch his shoulder.

"If it's important to you, Wallace, then it **is** important. What's going on in your world?"

Wallace smiled. It had been a long time since he had just talked with his best friend.

"You see there's this girl..."

"Whoop, there it is!" Veronica teased.

Wallace rolled his eyes.

"I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you read me the riot act because of my love-life choices, and now you're telling me it's because **your** panties are in a wad about a girl?"

Wallace hung his head and waited for the rest.

"This has got to be good, Fennel. Please. Keep talking, pal," Veronica smiled and crossed her arms.

...

"You know, Wallace, you really didn't have to come with me," Veronica said, turning her head from the plane's window to look at Wallace. They were about 30 minutes from LaGuardia.

"Oh, yes I did. Who's going to be there for Piz when he realizes it's really over?"

"I'm pretty sure he's aware of that already," Veronica said, eyes rolling.

Wallace laughed.

"Umm, so you've said those words to him, V? You said, 'hey, Piz. It's over.'?"

"Well, no, but it's pretty clear, isn't it, when I call to say I'm coming to clean out my things from the apartment to move back to California?"

"We are talking about Piz here, Veronica. Unless you make it perfectly, plainly, crystal clear to that boy that you two don't have a snowball's chance in hell of ever being together - he will hang on with a death grip."

"He's naive, Wallace. Not stupid."

"V, Piz is my boy, you know that. But I'm pretty sure you could show up pregnant with Logan Echolls' baby right now and unless you showed him a DNA test and a marriage license, he would still think there's a shot somehow."

"Ok, now you're just being mean," Veronica said, irritated. Wallace was making Piz sound like a complete idiot. She didn't get what was going on in Wallace's head these days. He tried to offer some lame excuse about a girl messing with his head the day he came to apologize to her, but she knew there was more he wasn't telling her. She'd get it out of him eventually, she was certain, but for now she was perplexed at his bipolar behavior. And what was up with the whole pregnancy analogy? Because her life wasn't crazy enough right now. Being pregnant would have just about been the most f'd up thing that could happen to her at this point.

"Ok, look, Wallace. I love you, but you are about a sentence away from me picking your scrawny ass up out of that seat and tossing you out the emergency exit. So, because I love you, I'm going to put my headphones in and listen to this riveting 'Review of Pertinent Facts for the Bar Exam'."

Veronica put her headphones in Wallace shrugged. He put his headphones in and leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

...

"New York, New York. Ain't she a beauty," Wallace commented as the cab drove them to Veronica's hotel. Veronica wasn't about to even consider staying in the apartment. She told Wallace he was welcome to, but she thought it was best that she stayed in a hotel near where she was scheduled to sit for the exam. He agreed and told her he would probably just crash with Piz.

Veronica had called Piz early in the week to let him know that she would be coming to pack up her things after the exam was over. The conversation was short and tense. He told her he would grab her some boxes and stay out of her way. She didn't mention that Wallace was coming along. He wanted to surprise Piz. He thought it might help take his mind off things. He would occupy Piz while Veronica got her stuff.

"It's definitely different from Neptune, huh?"

"No doubt," Wallace said, his eyes glazed over from all the sights and sounds. "Do you miss it?"

Veronica stared out the window. She had asked herself that same question many times in the last few weeks. It seemed pretty stupid to come sit for the bar exam when she was leaving New York. She wasn't even sure at this point if she even wanted to be a lawyer. Things were just complicated with her Dad's accident. She had to get to the bottom of this whole corruption thing before she could think about anything in the future.

But she'd already shelled out a mint to take the exam and she'd been studying for months, so she might as well go ahead and get it over with. The fact that the last month and a half of her life had been a complete whirlwind probably did not bode well for her chances of passing, however.

 _ **But you're Veronica Mars. When has pointlessness and certain failure ever deterred you from charging head on into the fray?**_

"Yes. No."

"Now who's bipolar?" Wallace laughed.

"I thought I was going to make a life here. I thought this was my future. I love New York. I didn't miss Neptune at all. I mean, I missed you guys. Dad. But I never missed Neptune. Do you know what I mean? I didn't miss what it meant. Neptune was my past. New York was my future."

"You keep saying was."

"Something happened when I came back, Wallace. I can't explain it. At first, it was like I was being sucked back into this nightmare I'd worked so hard to wake-up from. But every day I was there, I started to feel more 'me' again. It's like I left Neptune and left myself in it. I was a different person here. I think that's why Piz and I were so happy. He wasn't in love with me-he was in love with who I had become. And she was in love with him."

"Look, I only had one philosophy class, Plato. You're getting a little too deep for me," Wallace laughed.

"I know, it sounds like I'm tripping or something. I get it. I can't explain it in a way that doesn't sound like I just inhaled half of Dick's stash - but the fact is...the real Veronica Mars doesn't belong here. She belongs in Neptune, California with all the crazy, with all the drama, with all the chaos."

"I'm not sure that's true, V. I mean, yeah, I think you do belong in Neptune. But I don't think it's all chaos. There were some good times. And there will be again."

Veronica smiled. She hoped Wallace was right.


	3. Switzerland

A knock on the apartment door startled Piz. He wasn't expecting Veronica until late Wednesday, after she had finished the bar.

"Who is it?" he called out as he headed across the apartment to the door.

"Uh, delivery. For a Stash Pigorosky."

"Look, dude, it's Sto..."

Piz opened the door to see a smiling Wallace Fennel on the other side.

"Special delivery, that is," Wallace grinned.

"Dude, what are you doing here? Come in, come in."

"Well, I'm in town for a couple of days and thought I'd drop in on my bud."

Piz gave him a sideways look and folded his arms in front of his chest.

"Why do you just happen to be in New York?"

"What? Can't a guy visit his old college roommate and best friend that he never sees anymore?"

Piz rolled his eyes and dropped his arms to his side as if in surrender.

"Don't pretend that I don't know what this is all about," Piz replied.

"I had a few free days and I thought I'd ride along with V to see my boy. That's it."

"Uh huh," Piz nodded, moving towards the refrigerator to grab some beers for them. "So you're playing the role of backup. I get it."

"Look, I'm here to see you. To hang. To chill. So you can show me **your** New York. Does it really matter how or why I got here?"

"Ok, ok, fine," Piz relented, handing Wallace a beer. Both men took a sip and Piz pointed to Wallace's bag.

"You crashing here?" he asked.

"Well, I thought I might if you didn't mind..."

"Of course, Wallace. It's fine. I'm assuming Veronica won't be joining you?"

"Who now? I don't know anyone by that name. We are just two guys, alone in the big, big city for a couple of days."

Playing along with Wallace's obvious avoidance of any discussion about Veronica, Piz commented, "Lucky for you, I can work from home for a couple of days, or you might just be **one** guy, alone in the big, big city."

"So, how's life treating you these days, man?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were avoiding topics pertaining to my disheveled life."

"I'm not avoiding it, I was just trying to remain...neutral."

"Come on, Wallace. This is Veronica we're talking about here. There is no neutral. You two have been friends for a long, long time. I don't expect that you wouldn't still be. But let's not pretend that she doesn't exist and that, currently, she's a very giant pachyderm in this room right now."

"Ok, ok. I get it. But, look, it is definitely not my place to discuss this...whatever this is with you two..."

"You're going to honestly sit there and tell me you haven't discussed 'this' with Veronica?"

"No, I'm not. You know I have. But I won't share that discussion with you. Just like I won't share with her anything you tell me. I'll be there for both of you, if you need me, but I'm not playing referee here. You two gotta work your own shit out."

"Fair enough, Fennel. Let's not talk about Veronica. So, have you eaten yet?"

"Nope. Just got off the plane and headed here."

"So, Veronica is here in New York, too?"

"Um, didn't we just agree..."

"Yep, nevermind that question. How's about you and me head down to this kick-ass pub a couple of blocks away. I think there's a pretty decent game on tonight."

"Lead the way, bro."

...

 _Hey, Logan. So, I'm in New York. Wallace decided to come with me. He's going to...um, visit a friend while I'm taking my test. It's all sort of utterly pointless. My head has been so rattled these last few weeks, I seriously doubt I have a chance at passing this test. Plus, it's a bit of a waste. I doubt I'll be returning to New York to practice anytime soon. Oh, well, I guess it will be good practice for the California bar if I ever take that one day...ha ha. Dad got moved to a rehab facility just before I left. They say he's progressing well, and if all goes well there, he will be home in a couple of weeks. I'm thrilled, but I have to admit - I'm a little scared. Besides, I haven't lived with Keith Mars in 9 years. How well do you think that's going to work out? :) Oh, well, I guess we'll take it one day at a time just like all the rest. Goodnight. Be safe._

Veronica hit send and closed her laptop. She was going to turn in early. She wasn't sure why, though, since the last time she got a good night's sleep was the night before Logan left for deployment. Those precious weeks they were together before she left was the last time she really felt secure and at peace. Even with her dad in the hospital and his recovery still a long road ahead, being in Logan's arms was the most calm place she could imagine. With her bed empty, so was her heart. This was a pretty major revelation for Veronica and she wasn't sure exactly how to deal with it. So, like most things that were difficult for her to process, she pretended to ignore it. She closed her eyes and fell into a deep, deep sleep. A sleep unlike anything she had known for as long as she could remember, actually. And she dreamed-a lot. The next morning she wouldn't remember details or subject matter, but she could remember one thing - one image that was burned into the very fabric of her brain. She saw Logan...all dressed in his formal whites...smiling...at her.

A hard knock on the door woke Veronica from her deep slumber.

"Wakey, wakey...it's time to shakey..."

"What the hell?" Veronica sat up, alarmed. After she registered where, when, and who - she stumbled towards the door.

"What asshole has a death wish right now?" she uttered through gritted teeth, throwing open the door.

"Good morning, sunshine. It's the same asshole who got up at 6 am, caught a cab, found you coffee, and made it to your hotel room by 6:45 so you could be up and sitting for the bar by 8."

"Oh...that asshole. Why didn't you say so?" she smiled.

Wallace rolled his eyes as Veronica ushered her in.

"How did you know I'd need a wake-up call? And pardon me for sounding extremely ungracious, which I'm not; how'd you manage to get up so early?"

"As much as I'd love to take all the credit for this - it's really Piz you have to thank."

Veronica swallowed hard. "Piz?"

"Apparently he's into this whole early morning workout crap...so when I heard him stumbling and fumbling around I couldn't sleep. I figured with all you've had going on lately, you might be a little too tired, so I figured I'd just make sure you were up and at 'em. Looks like it was a good idea on my part."

Veronica rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah, it was. Thanks, Wallace. You've come through for me once again."

"Just exactly how did you survive without me all these years?"

"That's a mystery that yet remains unsolved," Veronica answered with a fake British accent.

"Go shower, girl. You look to' up."

"And there is your morning inspiration provided by the always flattering Wallace Fennel," Veronica said as she made her way to the bathroom.

After a semi-cold shower and a lukewarm cup of coffee, Veronica was ready to began day one of a two-day snooze fest that was the bar exam. To say she dreaded the whole thing would be akin to calling the Battle of Gettysburg a "mild skirmish". The NY bar exam was notoriously hard. Two months ago, Veronica felt somewhat prepared and thought her chances of passing on the first try were pretty good. Now, a lot of water had flowed under that bridge, and she thought it had pretty much floated those chances out to sea. But when you shell out several Benjamins just for the privilege to be put through the ringer - you go get wrung.

"So, I'd wish you luck, but..."

"Veronica Mars don't need no stinkin' luck," she finished in her best Jersey accent.

Wallace grinned.

"Plus, I don't think luck would help at this point," she added. They headed out the door and down to the lobby.

"So you got big plans today?"

"Yeah, Piz had to run into work this morning and square away a few things so he could work from home the next few days. We're going to hang out and do touristy stuff. You know - bars, booze, women...guy stuff."

Veronica rolled her eyes.

"How's he doing?"

Wallace through his hands up in front of his face and waved her off.

"Oh no you don't," he began. "You don't ask about him, he doesn't ask about you. I am not in the middle of this mess. This is my rule. This is the law."

"Okay, Switzerland - chill. I got it. Good rule."

A cab pulled beside them and Veronica opened the door and paused, turning to face Wallace.

"Thanks for coming, Fennel. You did me a solid. I owe you."

"Yeah, you're tab is getting larger than the GNP of many Central American countries," Wallace smirked.

"Duly noted. And when I'm a rich and famous attorney - you'll be the first one I repay," she smiled.

"Can I get that in writing?" he grinned.

Veronica pretended to pat imaginary pockets.

"If only I had a pen, dear Wallace..." she smiled back and lowered herself into the cab.

She drove off waving goodbye as she left.


	4. It's Too Late to Say Sorry Now

After eight grueling hours on just day one of a two-day process, Veronica was so over being a lawyer.

 _ **Years of schooling down the drain and buckets of money gone? Well, shoot. I could always be a bookie or something. This law crap is for the birds.**_

The ringing of her phone snapped her out of her pitty party.

"So, how did it go?"

She grunted loudly.

"So, that good? Nice. So, you need a few beers? I can meet you..."

"Thanks, Wallace, that's nice of you, but I think I just need to go back to the hotel and sleep this one off. I've got another day of it tomorrow and if there is any hope of me not plunging myself headfirst into rush hour traffic between now and then - it would be a good idea for me to just crash."

"Are you sure? You gotta eat?"

"Thanks, Wallace, but I'm good. I'll order room service. Maybe I'll be more fun once this is all over. Plus, I'm sure you're enjoying the guy time with Piz. We can hang out Thursday when all this is done."

"Ok, well don't hesitate to call if you need me."

"Thanks, Wallace. See you later."

Wallace hung up and walked back over to Piz.

"So how'd it go?"

Wallace raised his eyebrows and gave Piz a look.

"What? I can't be concerned about her taking the bar? You know that no matter what has or will happen between us, I'll always care about Veronica."

Wallace sighed and sat back down next to his friend.

"She's beat. She's going to crash. I think it was rough."

"Supposedly New York is one of, if not **the** hardest bar exam in the country to pass."

"Well, if anyone can do it," Wallace interjected, "Veronica Mars can."

"No doubt," Piz agreed.

"So, enough about that subject," Wallace said, trying to change the conversation, "what are we doing tonight?"

"There's this awesome club about a two blocks from here..."

...

 _Hey, Veronica. I don't know if you'll read this before your test, but I just wanted to say good luck. I know you can do it, so don't convince yourself that you can't._

 _I will be out of touch for a few days. I'll miss my weekly call, I'm sorry. Hopefully we'll be back in range by next week. I'll send you an email as soon as I can. It's so strange because I've never had anyone I wanted to talk to before when I was out at sea, but only getting to talk to you once a week is killing me. It's not that I have that much to say, it's just that hearing your voice - knowing you're on the other end of that phone makes me happier than I've been in a very long time._

 _I realize how "un-Loganlike" I sound right now, but this trip out is different from any other. I have a lot on my mind now that I didn't before. When I get home, Veronica, I want us to sit down and have a talk. A really long, serious talk. About life. About us. About our future. Out here in this boat, thousands of miles away from you - all I can think about is how much I regret spending the last nine years away from you. I regret all the mistakes I made that led you away and not chasing after you. I regret so much, but I don't want to live in the past. I don't want to regret anything anymore._

 _I'm sorry to be so serious in an email, but I had to get it all out. Please, take care. Be careful chasing the bad guys, Veronica. Be safe. If not for yourself - for me._

 _I hope to talk to you soon._

 _Love, Logan_

Veronica swallowed hard as she read Logan's email. He had poured himself out in a way she'd never known him to before. She never imagined he was capable of such. She was speechless. He really had changed a lot in the last decade. She wondered if she had changed that much. She still felt like the same old Veronica. And it bothered her. She took a shower and forgot all about room service. As she drifted off to sleep she dreamed of the ocean. And Logan.

...

Piz and Wallace were right in the middle of a very heated game of Call of Duty when a knock interrupted their reverie.

"Is that pizza already? Nice."

"I didn't order..." Piz began and stopped immediately when he opened the door.

"Hi," Veronica said, contorting her face into something almost resembling a smile.

"Lose your key?" Piz asked in an almost laugh, trying to melt some of the tension that hung thick in the air.

Wallace came up about then and realized who the unexpected guest was.

"V, hey. You done? I mean, you could have called..."

"Wallace, I was wondering if I could just have a few minutes alone with Piz?"

"Yeah, yeah. No problem. I'm going to just grab my coat here," he said, reaching around Piz for his coat hanging on the wall. "And I'm going to that coffee shop on the corner. The barista is fine."

Wallace eased passed Veronica giving her 'a look' as he made eye contact.

Veronica slowly made her way into the apartment.

"So-how was it? Wallace said yesterday was pretty rough..."

 ** _That's Piz. Sweet, innocent Piz. Making small talk to somehow make this less awkward. As if._**

"It kicked my ass. Hard," Veronica smiled.

"So when will you get the results?" he asked.

"It'll be a few months." she shrugged.

"Months?" Piz enunciated carefully. "As in groups of thirty days? Multiple groups?"

"Yeah, it pretty much sucks."

"No kidding."

After staring awkwardly for several minutes, Veronica finally broke the silence.

"So, I wanted to..."

"Don't do that, Veronica. Please," Piz implored.

"Piz, I owe you an explanation," Veronica insisted.

"No you don't. I mean, I am perfectly clear about what happened. You really don't have to explain it to me."

"Piz..."

He held up his hand to stop her and continued.

"I just have one question. Just one."

Veronica nodded, as if to say, "Ask away."

"If that girl hadn't died. If he hadn't called you - would you still be here with me?"

"I can't answer that, Piz."

"Can't or won't?"

"No, I mean I really can't. I just don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have gone to Neptune to help Logan, but of course I would have gone after my dad's accident. I don't know what I would have done then."

"I guess that tells me everything I need to know..."

"Piz. I'm sorry. I..."

Piz held up a hand.

"I know, Veronica. I know. I know how sorry you are, but that really doesn't make it any easier."

He took a deep breath and sighed.

"I never should have let myself believe that this would work out. I tried to tell myself that once we were away from your past we could overcome it. I guess I was wrong."

"Piz, I thought the same thing. I thought that I could become someone new. I really thought that I could change. But I can't. I'm just me. Just the same old Veronica-and all the drama that comes with me."

Piz got closer to Veronica and touched her cheek.

"You shouldn't have to change, Veronica. You're perfect the way you are. I just wish I was the one who was perfect for you."

"I'm sorry," Veronica finally replied.

Piz dropped his hand from her cheek.

"I know, Veronica. I know."

He turned to grab his coat and walked towards the door.

"I'll get out of your way," he said as he walked out.

 ** _Great, Veronica. You've got this whole heartbreak and destruction thing down good._**


	5. Feels Like Failure

"Well, that's the last of it," Veronica sighed.

"I thought girls had more stuff. This is surprisingly small compared to what I expected."

"I'm not your average girl, Wallace," Veronica grinned.

"Who you tellin'?" Wallace laughed.

There was a knock on the door.

"That must be the movers," she said.

She answered the door and let in a couple of guys who loaded up all her stuff in about twenty minutes. She had hired a long-distance moving company who specialized in moving people cross-country. For smaller loads, like hers, they combined a few stops, but her things would arrive in Neptune in four to five days. She was in no rush for them. Most of what was in those boxes represented a completely different life for Veronica. It was the life she'd been living - but not the life she really wanted.

"So that's it?" Wallace asked.

"Yeah - just going to leave my key..."

Veronica's words trailed off as she laid the key on the kitchen counter. She laid it next to a photo frame. It was a picture of her and Piz. They were smiling. Happy. Wallace noticed the photo and picked it up to look.

"That doesn't even look like you, V," he said.

"That's because it isn't," she said, sadly.

"I did love Piz," she said, sounding distant, "in my own way. But it wasn't the kind of love he deserved. I wish...I just wish I had admitted that to him, to myself, before we got this far."

Wallace sat the photo back down on the counter next to the key.

"You know, V," Wallace said, looking up at her and smiling. "If you gotta get your heart broken...I can't imagine any better way for it to be broken than by Veronica Mars."

Veronica turned her head to the side, looking at Wallace sideways.

"You know, Fennel, I think that may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Ever have and ever will, Mars. Let's go eat. I'm hungry."

After Wallace and Veronica had lunch, he spent the afternoon and evening with Piz. Meanwhile, Veronica sat at her computer and stared blankly at the screen for hours before finally responding to Logan's email.

 _Hey, there, sailor -_

 _Well, I'm done. The good news is - it only cost me a few hundred bucks to fail this miserably at my first attempt at the bar. Seriously, I won't know for several months (yes, months!) :( whether or not I passed, but - that thing kicked my ass hard! It was brutal._

 _What is it they say about hard lessons? Oh, well, they say the California bar isn't much better, so maybe I'll find a future as a non-practicing lawyer? Maybe I can be Cliff's paralegal or something. Anyway-_

 _I'm pretty bummed that I don't get to talk to you tonight. That pretty much sucks. But I understand. I mean, it's not like you're miles and miles away, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean or anything...I shouldn't be worried...right? Just kidding. Sort of._

 _And I'm totally not jealous. It's not like there's a lot to do on a sub, anyway, right? And surely, they don't let women on those subs. Do they? Are there women in your unit? Ok, now I really am making myself paranoid._

 _Seriously - I'm just messing around. I don't know how to have a conversation with a keyboard. And it's really lousy at talking dirty to me, so you really do have to hurry back to a phone ;)_

 _I miss you, too, Logan. And I am counting down the days until I get to jump in your arms, you wearing your sexy as hell sailor-man suit, and you tote me through the airport while Joe Cocker plays in the background._

...

 _ **Back in Neptune twenty-four hours and already the shit's hitting the fan. Way to go, Veronica. How many ways can you single-handedly fail in a forty-eight hour period?**_

"Really, Cliff? **That** is all you got?"

"What do you expect, Veronica? I'm not exactly Johnny Cochran. And I'm sure not Dick Tracy. Isn't that sort of your department?" Cliff smirked.

"You're a lawyer, Cliff. A lawyer. Do you know how hard it is to pass the bar exam to become a lawyer? Of course you do - you did it. See? Now how hard can it be to come up with a decent, half-ass defense for someone who is innocent?" Veronica near-shouted, slamming her hands down on the desk.

"I'm just gonna chalk this up to worrying about your dad or female problems or something..." Cliff trailed off as he gathered his briefcase and headed for the door.

"Wait, wait, Cliff. I'm sorry. I'm being a bitch. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. It's a shitty case, I got that. Celeste Kane is a lying bitch. And the Sheriff is a corrupt as his brother was an idiot. It's not your fault the whole world has gone to hell right now."

Cliff dropped his briefcase and sat back down.

"What's going on, V? I thought your dad was doing well," Cliff asked, concerned.

"He is. It's just ... a lot of stuff going on right now."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Really? Since when did we do this?" Veronica asked motioning her finger back and forth between her and Cliff.

"Hey, I get paid by the hour. Talk all you want," Cliff grinned.

Veronica arched her eyebrows and looked sideways at the lawyer.

"Seriously, V, I've bailed you out of jail. Several times. What can't you tell ole Cliffy?"

Veronica relented, "Besides this crap case, Dad's recovery, Logan being in the middle of the Pacific ocean, another incompetent Lamb in the Sheriff's office, and the fact I just failed my bar exam - everything is peachy."

"First of all, why are you back here doing this? You should be doing my job. Then, I can retire and sip mai tais on the beach with some long-legged, blonde..."

"Cliff!" Veronica said, snapping him back to reality. When he finally looked at her she continued, "Did you not just hear me say I failed? Plus, dad needs me here. I don't think I'm even cut out to be a lawyer."

"That's the craziest thing I've heard all day, V. Veronica Mars could rule the world one day. Being a lawyer is really nothing compared to that."

"I can't be a lawyer if I can't pass the bar," she said, rolling her eyes and ignoring Cliff's plan for her world take-over.

"Who says you didn't pass? You don't know yet. Plus, who says you have to pass the bar on the first try?" he said. "Just look at me. I didn't pass on the first try, and I'm here today."

Veronica resisted the urge to say, 'Exactly.' and instead went with, "And just how long did it take you to pass?"

"What matters is that I **did** pass and so will you," he said.

 _ **Translation: the number of times it took me to pass is exactly why I'm here today and not sipping mai tais on the beach.**_

"Well, thanks for the pep talk, but unless I want be a failure at 'Investigator', too, I really should get to work finding evidence to clear Weevil."

"Anytime, Veronica. My door's always open," Cliff said, opening the door to Mars Investigations.

"Uh, that's my door," Veronica replied.

Cliff just shrugged and headed out.

Veronica shook her head and turned her focus back to the case file on her desk. It was damn near impossible to figure out how to clear Weevil. Celeste Kane wasn't backing down from her story - a total lie - and the only people who could backup Weevil's side of things were a bunch of biker gangsters that had zero credibility in front of a jury. She hoped maybe her dad had some advice for her. She hadn't really discussed cases with him since the accident. Partly because she wanted him to heal before they talked shop. Keith hadn't mentioned it because, secretly, he hoped Veronica would forget this nonsense and return to New York. Finally tired of staring at the case file with no revelation, she grabbed her keys and headed out. She drove to her dad's rehab facility. He had just finished a rehab session and a shower when she arrived with a bag of takeout for them.

"That smells delicious," Keith smiled as Veronica unpacked the bag.

"I bet compared to this food, anything else smells heavenly," she replied.

"Actually, the food is pretty good here. Much better than at the hospital," Keith grinned.

Veronica was relieved to see her dad looking so well. He looked almost himself again.

"So, how was New York?" her dad asked, leaving that question pretty open-ended.

"Umm..." said Veronica, not really sure how much to tell him. "Well, the bar was the hardest thing I've ever seen, done, or imagined."

Keith grinned.

"I'm sure you did fine," he replied.

"If 'fine'," Veronica smirked, making quotations with her fingers, "means 'fail', then, yes. Let's go with 'fine'."

"I'm sure you're overreacting," Keith told her.

She grabbed her chopsticks and rolled her eyes.

"Not so much," she sighed.

"Well, did Wallace have a good time?" Keith asked, still being very careful with his words and not mentioning Piz's name.

Veronica noticed his tiptoeing around the conversation.

"He did. He and Piz," she said, with emphasis on the Piz, "had a really good time together. I'm glad. I'm sure Piz was glad to know that not all of his friends had betrayed him."

Keith nodded, not sure how to respond.

"Nothing to say, Dad?" Veronica asked. She knew Keith was holding back his opinions. "No need to hold back on my account."

"What do you want me to say, Veronica?"

"Whatever you want. Like always," she replied, grinning.

"I don't think it's any secret I'm disappointed in your choices, Veronica. I was so happy you'd gotten out of Neptune. You had a life in New York. You were going to make something for yourself, honey. Plus, Piz was good for you."

Veronica sighed.

"Dad, I tried. I really did. But I was living a life that wasn't mine. That's not who I really am, and I think you know that, too," she said.

"Come on, Veronica, that's bull..."

"No, Dad, it's not," she said, her voice rising a little. "I looked around that apartment the day I packed, and I didn't recognize the person who lived there. I thought that I could get away from Neptune and that would take all of this out of me. It didn't. It just hid it for a while."

"And Logan?" he asked.

"Him, too, I guess," she said, staring out at nothing, lost in memory.

Keith just nodded silently for several seconds before he finally spoke.

"You know I just want what's best for you, right? Whatever and whoever that is," he smiled.

"I know, Dad," she said, smiling back.

"You know he saved my life," he said after several bites of food.

"I mean, he called 911 and all..."

"No, Veronica, he pulled me out of the car. When the truck doubled back...If he hadn't gotten to me when he did..."

Keith was choked up by the memory of the accident. It was still very fresh in his mind.

"Well, I'm just grateful, is all," he finally said.

"Me, too," Veronica agreed. She thought it odd that Logan hadn't mentioned that part. He never told her that he put himself in harm's way to save her dad. It made her long to hear his voice all the more.

"So, how's Weevil's case?" Keith asked, acknowledging with a nod the stack of files Veronica had also brought with her.

"Ugh," Veronica let out another deep sigh. "Not so good."

Keith reached over the table and grabbed the stack of files.

"Let's take a look..."


End file.
